The Shipping War
by Lee Pyro
Summary: PARODY: The beginning of the great shipping wars. Starting with the two strongest ships Zutara & Kataang. When will the madness end?


A/N: This is my first fic and I have been known to butcher the English language. I hope you like it anyway. I got the idea for this from a couple of forums I've been lurking in so I suppose I should credit them. They are Shipping War Roleplay by Gaurdian of Atlantis & The Neutralist Nation by goldfish demon.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar the Last Airbender. No copyright infringement is intended.

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The gang had stopped in a remote village in the Fire Nation to buy supplies and rest for awhile. Katara and Aang were haggling over cabbages with a particularly grumpy merchant and Toph and Sokka had stopped to listen to an old woman tell a story to a group of skinny looking youngsters.

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There was a time when Zutara and Kataang lived in peace. This was long ago and there are few now who still live to tell of those days. There might still be peace amongst our fair ships if it had not been for that fickle creature I will call: Canon. This is the tale of how the wars began.

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Kataang was young and childlike, full of that sweet adorableness that comes with first love. She was the picture of youth and innocence, the darling of all who knew her. Zutara was her best friend, passionate and imperial, Zutara gave an air of regality that was not commonly found even among kings. Then, came Canon. Canon was not altogether an attractive creature but he held the reigns of power over countless thousands and ruled over them with a manner of brotherly affection. Zutara and Kataang saw this in him and both desired in their hearts to be raised by him to the pinnacle of fame and glory. "Oh, Zutara!" sighed Kataang, "If I could be loved by one such as that, surely my fame would never die." "Poor Kataang," said Zutara, "Can't you see? Canon can never love you. You are far too young, Canon needs someone older, more mature, someone like me." Naturally this did not sit well with Kataang. "Zutara, you are old and outdated, Canon will never choose you over me."

There came a period of hostility, there was not yet outright war but the cruelty and resentment between the two continued to fester until the day when the summit of anger was reached and the two beauties appeared before Canon and demanded a verdict. Canon considered for several moments, he looked at Zutara so passionate and regal, Kataang so sweet and graceful. "Give me a season finale and I will tell you." "Very well," Zutara replied, feeling that her moment had finally come. Kataang simply smiled and nodded the sweetness of her face only serving to irritate Zutara further. The night of the finale came slowly, too slowly for the supporters of both Zutara and Kataang. Then as the world watched and waited for, what they thought, was the end of a horrible war, Canon announced his decision. "I choose Kataang." He said, with a somewhat regretful look at Zutara.

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Many other feuds besides Zutara and Kataang's also took place and over time they too went to Canon for answers. From Tokka to Maiko they all asked this fickle creature for his verdict on who was right, and who was wrong. Canon always answered to the best of his abilities sometimes giving false hope and then changing his mind at the last minute but always in the end the answer came, to the dismay of one and joy of the other. Some went away happily and joined Kataang's court, others feeling rejected and wronged went to Zutara in exile plotting their return to power.

* * *

Zutara sat alone with her dear friend Taang. "Don't worry Zutara," said Taang comfortingly. "I know just the thing to cheer you up." Taang took Zutara to a different kind of place. "There's someone I want you to meet. Zutara, may I introduce you to my good friend Fanon." Zutara learned to care deeply about Fanon but he was not her beloved Canon, so basking in her new friend's smile she made a vow to the authors of her world: _Canon will be mine…_

* * *

Toph and Sokka sat dumbstruck. "Did you notice how almost all her characters were plays off our names?" she whispered. "Nonsense!" Sokka cried. "It was an epic tale of romance and adventure, although I will admit it wasn't fleshed out nearly as well as it could have been." "Whatever." was the only reply he recieved from his blind friend.

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A/N: So... What did you think? Did you love it? Hate it? Leave a review and tell me what you think. As this is my first fic constructive criticism is more than welcome. I've considered writing more chapters but I'm still not sure, if you want them, tell me._  
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